In the end what kind of behavior can be derailed?

General view is that much harder to accept men derailment companion body, while women on the contrary, more difficult to accept derailment partner spiritually. 

But in my opinion, the reason why the latter can accept companion body derailed hold the view (in the investigation of a portal, nearly half of women believe that men go to prostitutes after marriage, can not be considered derailment), more because too depressed themselves, afraid to assert their sexual rights and sexual point of view, the value of a woman bound or dependent on men, so I listen to a patriarchal culture has brainwashed the nature of these two views: 

A man as male animals, nature genes have spread everywhere; 

2, the man is able to separate the upper and lower body of the animal; 

I would like to take this article to refute the above two points to make: 

1, males do have acquired genes spread everywhere, but is now without a man is willing to agree that he is a male animal, such as if you say a man is well bear, he must think you insult him (to mention other, more insulting wording of animal species it). Since humans have evolved to no longer willing to animal husbandry, has been able to get rid of instinctive control, while avoiding disadvantages, may delay of gratification, can responsibly for their actions, then he no longer has the ability to spread everywhere genes set intimacy expense. Unless of course his wife fight from within the heart thinks he spread out the gene is good, then he can certainly do so. 

2, a man called to separate upper and lower body, is that no feelings for a woman he can also erection, but in fact women love men who do not secrete lubricating fluid - but all of these physiological responses of healthy people only, it is not men and women's. The reason why men do not easily poured in human sexual relations body feelings, essentially because they have more self and emotional repression and isolation, so only the so-called separation of upper and lower body. In other words, because they do not have the mental and emotional capacity to unify the upper and lower body, so I had to find a reason for his frustration, to rationalize that painful state. Real flesh and blood human beings felt, it is difficult to truly separate upper and lower body, because the pursuit of emotional and psychological depth of links and links in order to feel and to know themselves, experience a sense of security and a sense of resonance of life, every instinctive desire for life. 

In the end what kind of behavior can be derailed?

Few people came because the spirit of the derailment partner consulting room, because most people do not know how to define the spirit of the derailment. For example, when couples indulging in online affair, but his expression of dissatisfaction, is likely to be a partner, "You really stingy," back to the top, and perhaps the people themselves are very confused: looks like companion did not really go out and have sex with people, but how I was so intolerable that he flirting with people on the network, in the end he does not or I wrong? I am in the end should not directly indicate my opposition attitude? Many people are in such a blur of confusion, let partnership slowly toward the unknown direction. 

In my opinion, as long as people with a partner who has sex outside the relationship-based, it can be regarded as derailment, whether physical or mental. 

The so-called sex-based, including the language and two acts. That is, as long as you are with a partner outside person when talking, talking with each other about the meaning of sexual topics, such as "sweetheart I want you" with erotic tease this language belongs to the derailment. Derailed, including people outside partner sexual harassment, nude chat, buy and sell property, etc. and sexual, erotic speech and behavior related. 

If you understand the definition of derailment, I think this will help couples communicate more candid relationship between each other, allows people to bravely face the problem of the relationship, rather than excuses to tentatively, so that the relationship becomes final more difficult to operate. 

Body derailment, is often the direct cause of dissolution of marriage. 

Because the body is the substance of the derailment, there is the picture, it is more likely to arouse people's imagination. After that partner derailed, and identified the body of the derailment, people will inevitably imagine partner with others intimate picture, especially intimate with your partner whenever the behavior of the time. These pictures of the imagination, self-esteem would be parties, the sense of security, a sense of trust and other devastating blow, but also affect couples intimacy, which will further dampen intimacy. 

Derailed body is greater than the dangers of mental derailment, because the body will make it more difficult to separate from the derailment extramarital partner, and also gave birth to offspring may bring more trouble. The mental derailment, but it is vague, it seems there is, it seems not, it is difficult to capture the visual sense of the information. This allows the imagination of people unable to play, it weakens the internal self and emotional impact. This is also a partner in the network when those maintaining an ambiguous relationship with the people that, did not quickly lead to divorce, or even just not the root cause of quarrel divorce. 

People care more about the cause of the derailment companion body, far more than that. 

Is the difference between love and other emotions - affection, friendship, human - the only criterion. Once the sexual relationship between two people, it means they were deep in the soul connection and communication (some are patriarchal culture hypnotized women do not think they would think so, but that is for their own deception it), especially when sex has been going on for some time not less oxytocin also make their relationship more closely, more difficult to let go. Sexual connection, so that two unrelated people, will soon become even more intimate than the father daughter relationship, the feeling of love is also more intense. 

Although people do not know there's a deep motivation, but it will already have learned that a partner after sexual contact with others, involuntarily have a sense of being abandoned, intimate connection becomes loose sense of hopelessness and helplessness, and that he might be facing forced to change the anger and fear of life track. 

Finally, there is a spirit of the derailment, can not be considered to derail the strict sense. 

In interpersonal increasingly rich and diverse today, even those who are married, there are always many opportunities to meet the opposite sex resist actions. There was an idea that this person is right for you in the world there are ten thousand, and monogamy let us only to find out a common love and life. This means that even if a partner has been very much in love, in our daily life and work, we still have the opportunity to meet one or more other great feeling, or that is admired person. 

If you give this relationship as a "spiritual derailment", it really means that some real or imagined. As long as we can enjoy this heart and feeling, to "send peace love, only peace ceremony", to maintain a normal social human interaction, it may well be some really good friendship relationship.